Atlanta

I just got back from Atlanta because I had to visit my grandmother. unfortuantely, it was not a happy visit. My grandmother has been on dialysis for the last three years and had been doing ok up until about three weeks ago. She stopped eating, but did not complain of any pain or anything. Two weeks ago she weighed about 90 pounds so the doctors decided it was finally time to see what was wrong. They performed a colonoscopy on her, but while they were doing this she was so frail that her body could not handle it and she had a heart attack. She then got pneumonia in both lungs. She thought she had recovered this past monday and when the doctors told her she needed to go into assissted living and do physical therapy, she freaked out. She left the hospital with my grandfather without permission and went home. She then had to call 911 because she could not even make it into bed. Now she is in the icu and trying to recover. She now wieghs no more than 80 lbs and is steadily declining I fear. She will not eat even though I tired to feed her several times and now it seems that all she wants to do is have morphine. I wish there was some way I could make her realize she needs to eat, but I fear that she is just so tired from the dialysis and everything that she just does not want to feel any pain and leave us all. I can not imagine being in her situation and how I would feel if i was her. Who knows? I might have the same feelings if I was in her situation. I also had an interesting conversation with my granfather talking about how it is so weird that now he has to depend on his two sons and he can remember when they had to depend on him. It is the cycle of life. People grow from a baby to responsible adults and then after a while, they regress back into the baby stage. It is sad, interesting and true.